The Brown Bride: March 2010

Chelsea Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 7, 2001

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I met my husband through his Aunt Rhonda. I began working with Rhonda in September of 1999, only two months after I took a pledge of celibacy and TOTALLY rededicated my life to Yahweh. After only three weeks of working together, she inquired of my 'status'. I told her that I was single and was not looking. She told me that she liked my spirit and thought I would be a good match for her nephew who resided in Massachusetts. We continued to talk and before the long, the conversation switched to a different topic, and that was the last that I had heard of her nephew.

In June of 2000, Rhonda informed me that she had had a telephone conversation with her nephew the night before and had mentioned me to him. She stated that she intended to give him my phone number, but had forgotten my phone number at work. She entreated me to call him. I totally refused at first...only to find his name, email address and phone number being shoved in my hand, and me being shoved into my office with a plea of a promise that I would call or email him that same day. After vacillating about if calling him would be appropriate and the right thing to do, I acquiesced to her wishes, and promised that I would send an email that day.

I prayed before typing and sending the email. My prayer was simple. 'Give me the right words to say, and if this is not YOUR will, don’t allow him to respond.' I received a response in less than one hour. The response was both funny and captivating.

Daniel began emailing me daily, and I continued to pray BEFORE RESPONDING to his emails. My prayer was simple: 'Give me the right words to say.' Daniel eventually requested that we meet online to begin our 'Instant Messaging' (IM) relationship. I was so impressed by the simple-yet-IMPORTANT factor that he would establish the meeting time, and always met me ON TIME. He was NEVER LATE. In fact, he was often WAITING FOR ME.

After two weeks of emailing and IM each other, Daniel asked if he could have my phone number so that he may call and hear my voice. (Yes, ladies…it took me two weeks to give up the digits.) You see, along with my vow of celibacy, I also vowed to move at a snail’s pace with whomever I became interested in. I’ll have to share my 'From Singlehood to Marriedhood' testimony at a different time.

The first telephone conversation was nerve-racking for me because it was then that I decided to reveal my vow of celibacy to Daniel. I decided to reveal this during our first telephone conversation because the phone call itself was personal in that we were hearing one another’s voice for the first time, which had a certain feeling of intimacy that IM and emailing did not have. Additionally, I decided to reveal my celibacy as a second part of my prayer, which was also simple: 'If he will not respect my vow of celibacy, then let this be our last conversation.'

After disclosing my vow of celibacy to Daniel, he simply stated, 'Well, I’ll have to think about that.'
The conversation continued and two hours later, we were saying goodbye. Although I was unsure if I would ever hear from Daniel again, I was sure that I had done the right thing of disclosing my celibacy to him. Daniel emailed and called the next day. We continued emailing, IM'ing and talking on the phone for another four weeks before he even saw a single photograph of me. By this time, Daniel, in his own words, stated, 'I don’t care if you look like Sha-Nay-Nay, because you have a brotha sprung already. After all, Sha-Nay-Nay needs love, too.' Isn’t that the most hilarious thing you have heard!? We laughed for days about that, and sometimes still laugh about it! Ladies, it did not matter to Daniel what I looked like because he was truly getting to know ME first, as opposed to the exterior of me first.

To make the long of a story short, Daniel decided to propose to me in August of 2000 (Yeah, you did the math right). He proposed only two months after receiving my initial email. We decided to elope because most importantly, that is what I have always wanted to do, and secondly to minimize negative feedback from relatives, friends and associates. Daniel’s single request was that we have a formal wedding that would be officiated by a pastor. Our wedding date was September 7, 2001---the weekend of Labor Day. Daniel flew from Massachusetts to California on September 6th. Our INITIAL meeting in the airport was magical-yet-surreal. All we could do was smile, grin, hug and kiss one another. Others knew we were in love. Passersby would make nice comments about how good we looked together, how happy we looked and how much we beamed. We planned the perfect wedding. IT WAS A DAY THAT I SHALL NEVER FORGET AND NEVER WISH TO REPEAT WITH ANYONE ELSE.

I knew Daniel was my husband when he consistently displayed the following characteristics: Respect for my time, respect for my choices and respect for my relationship with Yahweh.”