So How Did You Know~Duawne

Duawne Speaks On How He Knew



Wedding Anniversary Date: October 7, 2001



“I met my wife at age 19. I had just transferred from a small college in Maryland, to an even smaller college in Alabama. What I noticed first about her were her eyes. Not so much the color, though they are beautiful, but more so their intensity. When I looked into her eyes, I could see my future. Funny thing is, I don’t remember becoming friends with her. I just remember being friends with her. Ours was a great friendship because neither of us was available. I was dating someone else back home and so was she. This allowed us to get to know each other on an intimate level without physical intimacy, which was the foundation for what we share today.

I remember feeling comfortable with her from the very beginning. Being with her was not just fun, but easy. Neither of us had to fight for the other’s attention. It was generously given. I did not know then that I would marry her because I would not allow my mind to think of her as anything but a friend. Remember, I had a girlfriend at home who I loved and respected. But I grew to love my wife on a completely different level than my girlfriend. I just loved sharing the same space with her. I loved knowing that this really pretty girl was so incredibly cool at the same time. I loved that I could talk to her about whatever, and I really loved looking out for her. I even told her once that my children would call her 'Auntie' because I knew we would always be in each others lives. But I’m glad that they call her 'Mommy' instead.


10 years would pass between our meeting and our marriage. Long story short, she knew I was hers before I knew she was mine. Most women do. But when I knew...I really knew. Having fostered a solid friendship, I was afraid of exploring a relationship with her. I didn’t want to risk ruining what we had. But when she began dating a guy she had known all of her life, a casual friend of mine, I then realized that the possibility of us ever dating may never be. That made me uneasy.


At a wedding of a mutual friend we reconnected. She was a bridesmaid and I was the singer. As she came down the aisle, I was in awe of her. Though we had kept in touch we had not seen each other for a few years. She was now a woman – a very beautiful woman. She was the first bridesmaid to enter and I was singing, 'I want to spend tomorrow here with you', as she walked in. That day God gave me a foreshadow of what was to come. I saw her dressed in white coming to vow herself to me. For the rest of the day, I could not be away from her and when it was time to leave I did not want to. I always missed her when either of us left but this time I felt like pieces of me stayed with her. That day she took my heart home with her and didn’t even know it. I was afraid to tell her.

Nearly two years passed before I asked God who my wife was. I wanted to be with His choice for me. I had been dating and up to this point, all of my choices had proven to be inadequate. Unknowingly, I had been comparing every relationship to the woman my soul loves.


When I asked God, He answered me immediately. He said, 'Carmen'. It was as if He had been waiting for me to ask. 'How did I know it was God?' you may ask? It’s just like when my mom calls me on the phone. I don’t have to check the caller ID to figure out who I’m talking to. Because I’m in relationship with her I know her voice. And even if we were in a noisy, crowded room, I would still recognize her voice above all others because I’ve spent years with her. Her voice is familiar to me.

The same is true of God. When you spend time with Him you get to know Him and how He speaks as it relates to you. Not only did God speak it, but He also confirmed it through the mouths of three others. It was made more than clear that Carmen was His choice for me. And when I reflect on the decade of friendship we shared prior to our covenant day, she had always been my choice for me as well.”